My Wake Up Call.

Aside

I knew my life was incomplete.  It wasn’t always this way, but it had become this way.   I was searching for that missing piece.  I  occupied myself with the busyness of life and all that I wanted to do in order to feel satisfied and complete.   Yes, I accomplished a lot over a short period of time, but sadly I still felt empty.

It was after the Boston Marathon that I stumbled across the blog about Ben Sauer, a 5-year-old boy diagnosed this past February of an incurable brain tumor.  He only had weeks to live.  My mind had a really hard time comprehending how a mother can endure the pain of her precious son dying.  How is that possible?  Her blog entitled “The Eleventh Hour” is what brought me to my knees in tears (www.bensauer.blogspot.com).  If you haven’t read it, please do so.  It will most definitely change you like it did me.

Her prayer was this: “Lord, comfort your beautiful son in these next few days. Give him peace. And alleviate his pain. Show him the way into heaven and promise me, You’ll be the first to greet him. Wipe away his tears and let him know we won’t be that far behind him. Tell him to look out for his big brother and baby sisters while they navigate this life. Perhaps you can introduce him to his sibling we lost in-utero more than two years ago. I’m sure his relatives that are there waiting won’t have a problem recognizing him for themselves. He’s going to love all of the animals – frogs and snakes are his favorite – and he’s going to be thrilled to have his own wings. I’m sure he’d love playing with David’s slingshot, too!   And God, grant us peace, as well. Those who are left behind. As we come to grips with our new future without Ben being close. As we find the grace you’ve given us and discover joy in the knowledge that You’re carrying all of us in the palm of Your hand.  We are scared. We are hurt. We are sad. But we trust You. For You are Good.”

I still cry uncontrollably after reading this. Ben went to heaven the night of May 13th.  At that point, I yearned to draw closer to the Lord, the same Lord that was giving her strength to endure the unimaginable.  I bought a Journal titled “My Beautiful Life” along with a devotional called “Jesus Calling.”  I would like to share what I wrote in that journal just a few days before what took place in my life.

I wrote, “I feel a burden at times, the stress of life, feeling of failure, raising kids.  But I trust in the Lord with all my heart.  I am extremely blessed.  God has never failed me since the day I accepted Him into my life at the age of 13.  I draw close to the Lord and lean on Him for peace and security.  This life is temporary compared to eternity.  Never let me get sucked into worldly pleasures and sin.  I pray daily for my husband and kids.  I want to spend more time with my family, teaching my kids, yearning for You in their lives, and relying on the Lord for everything.  After all, what is life without the love of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.”

I prayed that night and begged God for forgiveness for my life apart from the Lord and for neglecting a meaningful relationship with Him.  I also desired for God to make Himself known in my life again and to give me the comfort and assurance that He still loves me.
Well, the next day on my way home, God showed Himself in a way that I will never forget.  I looked down for a second, lost control of my car, and jumped the curb.  My immediate instinct was to over correct and run the risk of having the car flip over, or to veer the car head on into the embankment which was what I did. The words, “dear God, I’m going to heaven, please take care of my kids” were the words that ran through my mind.  All airbags deployed and my door was impacted.  I immediately froze and panicked.  I made sure I was not injured, then managed to jump through the passenger window and call for help. I was ok, not one scratch, bump or bruise!! How is that possible?  Then it all made sense to me.  It was the power of God.  God’s angels surrounded and protected me.  There is no earthly explanation for what just happened.
I was given a second chance in life, it was my wake up call to live the rest of my life accomplishing God’s purpose.  After all, we are here for a moment compared to eternity.  Everyone who breathes, will one day pass from this world.  John 3:16.  I am thankful for what took place, praising God, for it puts a whole new perspective on life.  We are not guaranteed tomorrow and this experience was a jarring reminder of that.  My life will never be the same.
Jeremiah 29:11-13 11 For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. 12 Then you will call on me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. 13 You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart.  Pray for me and my family as I stand firm in the unfailing love of my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.  He is real, He is alive and He still loves me.